Other random sports

Loyal Readers,

As the season that is better known as life comes to its mid year break, I have decided to attempt to push the bar in terms of getting yet another wacky/dangerous sport ticked off my list. It’s no secret that I have become bored having tried every conventional sport you can pretty much name other than Ice Hockey, which is not suited to people that had a tropically based upbringing.

Having already attempted the following:

Various Gun Shooting Events
Sailing Drunk
Bobsledding in the Utah Olympic Park
Dog Sled Racing (oh yes I did)
A Bialthon

I seek to push the bar much further with a slightly more dangerous activity where I will be White Water Rafting in the Himalayas. Yes, myself and two other idiots will be hanging on for our dear lives when the river Sherpas guide us through class IV+ rapids. Since signing up for the trip, I have been reading up on the ‘sport’ of white water rafting and have already officially got a really shady looking ICICI Travel Insurance Policy that probably won’t cover anything other than my timely death. I bequeath the entire proceeds of the policies pay out to subsidize theoffsidetrap’s crappy 5 dollar a year domain fee till 2120. God Bless this blog.

Should I not return alive, know that I still cannot BLOODY BELIEVE THEY FIRED RAMOS @ MADRID! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING!

Well know that AND that if I could have done it all over again……………………….I would have taken Roque Junior out or at least took him with me instead. Seeing it as though I couldn’t get Pepe and him in one fell swoop.

See you in 2 weeks or so.



Pictured Here: Me, White Water Rafting In The Himalayas. Without You.


My antagonism towards predictions wasn’t aimed at solely at Super Pippo, but the whole concept of sports writers needing/wanting to make predictions. One of the beauties of tournament football in particular is the fact that the margins involved are so small.

Lets take the Confederations Cup as an example. Lets suppose USA get the 3rd goal before Brazil score – its not inconceivable, and yet it would have almost certainly meant that shockingly the USA would be champions.  An even better illustration is the Champions League final. Everyone will remember it for Barca outclassing Man U. Yet, if Valdes save from Ronaldo’s freekick goes slightly to the other side and Park scores, the outcome could have been completely different. This doesn’t diminish Barca’s victory – they consistently rose to the occasion and were deserving champions – but you have to show some humility.

This segues nicely onto one of the things that I think constitutes greatness. That when people look back at your victories they don’t think that if only this or that happened the outcome would have changed. Brazil 1970 were so good and so outclassed the other teams, that I don’t think that anyone even came close to beating them. I think this is what Super Pippo was referring to when he said that the Pakistan T20 team wasn’t a great one. Why were the last two Federer-Nadal Wimbledon finals so epic? Because you had two great champions who would have beaten anyone else easily, fighting it out for the title. In the end, Federer could have won both, Nadal could have won both, or as it turned out they won one each. There was luck involved but we will remember the tenacity shown by the 2 guys and the incredible moments they produced.

20-20 Humiliation

First things first. England lost to the Netherlands. Is that worse than Pakistan losing to Ireland? Is the English manager going to now be strangled by a pissed off gambler who probably has ties to terrorism. Another sure bet gone down the chute? I’ll let everyone else decide. R.I.P Bob Woolmer.

Tom Brady

Thank God Tom Brady is back. I’ve heard some crap about how the Dolphins think the AFC East will go through them this year. Just like how Dan Marino could win the Superbowl? Morons.

The Dolphins

Bill Parcels has transformed the Dolphins into monsters. This is what happens when you have a quality QB that is willing to listen to you instead of Tony Romo who was too busy sticking it to Jessica Simpson to understand what Bill meant when he said calm down. One thing is for sure, Bill Parcels is a great coach, Tony Romo isn’t as good as you thought. Big Bill, took the single win Dolphins and transformed them into AFC Champions. This is no joke people. Hmm…..wait….does that mean if we sent Bill up to Detroit the lions would win the superbowl?…….Wait. I think I’m going insane.

Pat Cash


The Offside Trap wishes Pat Cash the best of luck in his upcoming Legends Under 45 doubles match with partner and fellow legend Emilio Sanchez, they’ll have their hands full against the one and only cold war relic. Yevgeny Kafelnikov because “in Soviet Russia, Yevgeny owns YOU!” I guess it should come as a bit of a surprise that Thomas Muster an Austrian is partnering up with him this year, some form of gesture over burrying the hatchet on the whole Austro-Hugarian Empire trying to take over Russian during WW2 I guess.

Loving the graphic we managed to dig up. Pat is still sporting the chequered headband that got him pretty much every Aussie woman he wanted and more. Loving the casual look and staying true to the Dunlop Raquet, I wonder if his sponsorship deal is worth anything past “We’ll give you free tennis raquets and not a penny on top”.

Come on Pat!

While GM will file for bankruptcy in the United States largest ever single corporation meltdown, there is a much bigger story going on right now in Detroit.

The Detroit Red Wings are one of the most celebrated Hockey Franchises of the last 25 odd years. They have always had phenomenal success while they have to have watched their city literally crumble. When Jefferson Starship released “We Built This City”, it was reffering to Detroit Rock City, one of the greatest places on earth for a limited time.

While the lease on the city seems to be up and no one wants to re-claim it, its good to see that the health of Detroits sports teams have not been affected as they are the last bastion of entertainment in an otherwise dead city.

The Detroit Tigers made it to the world series just two years ago. Losing to the Rays eventually but they had an incredible regular season.

The Pistons are one of the most formidable, most aggressive, most physical teams in basketball and always make it to the quarter finals at least.

The Detroit Lions are the worst franchise in NFL history. This is what happens when you sign up a quarterback with a name like “Kitna” and expect him to perform with the worst defence in the history of football.

Right, back to the wings. The Detroit Red Wings lifted the biggest trophy I have ever seen, the Stanley cup last year and are now back in the finals this year with a 2-0 lead over the formidable Pittsburgh Penguins, this is not Mario Lemux’s team anymore and god knows one can tell. The truth of the matter though, is that the Wings have managed to hold up the fort in terms of sports pride for the people of Detroit in one of their hardest years of existence.

I wish the Wings the very best of luck in lifting the Stanley cup and closing out the remaining games required. Detroit needs all the help it can get in terms of morale at this stage.

It’s incredible really, how a citys sporting success can change the mood of everyone around it.


So you know I was thinking, if we sell Adebayour, Eboue, Sylvestre and Diaby for 40m, plus the rumoured 25m that we have to spend, and maybe get a loan from Usmanov…we could go buy Messi!

Cue the summer sale madness!

And now time for me to once and for all quash all Ac Milan content from SP.

Word count is at 144. So here goes. I will mention AC Milan till the day that I die or until any team that you support contains any one player that can break any of the following three records: 3 Champions League Titles with 3 Different Teams (Seedorf), 900+ Appearences for a club (Maldini) and Greatest Number of UEFA competition goals he also has 300+ goals for a single club (Inzaghi).


One word. Raul.

More club goals than Pippo, better looking, more goals in the Champions league, and to top it all off more goals in international football. And has better hair.

Shut up SP!

I can’t believe I’m going to admit this to the world and come out of the closet on this one but…….I don’t enjoy high scoring games.

Look……….before I find my login and password for theOffSideTrap no longer working tomorrow allow me to explain.

When I say I don’t enjoy high scoring games, I mean they are not my first preference. If you said, you could watch a 2-2 or a 4-4 I’d go with the 2-2. My ultimate preference is that games are CLOSE throughout which entails low scoring affairs have a higher probability of fulfilling that pet peeve statistically. (I mastered probability over 4 years, there is no refuting this fact)

Close games are derived from solid midfield performances. You can have the best back four in the world but if your holding midfielder/s don’t do their job, it is a constant goal tease you are in for and inevitably something scrappy will be scored.

At the same time I am a big fan of posession football. Infact, I am a firm believer that the highest rates of posession should always determine the winner of a match (fair use policy applies to this). I’m not looking for the longest ever stream of back passes, I’m just saying posession football is what I’m talking about. The question posed was…bugger it here goes….I enjoy more defensive football. Yes I freaking do!

When I play in friends back yards, I am in the defence, I try to think like a defender and yes, I have defensive preference on the mind when it comes to the football I watch. I mean…….I follow Serie A and my favorite team is AC Milan…..what do you expect?

How can you tell me that seeing Patrick Veira rough housing a guy in the mid field and sending a ball up the field to an empty Zalatan Ibrahamovich for a clinical finish isn’t a thing of beauty? The first portion of the move is just as good as the latter.

Watch this video with sound on full blast and tell me you don’t feel something for the defensive side of the game!

*If you have time to check it out, you’ll realize that the video of him as a kid dribbling half the team is nearly identical to his run in the goals scored at the end of the video against a Romanian side famed for their Defence. That kind of stuff just creeps me out.

Also….though you may disagree with my take on defensive football….please…..please….please do not kick me off the blog. It’s the only place I get to aire my frustration at the English game and Micheal Essien that is of worth. In terms of sheer annoyance, Macheda and Essien are on level terms. Not even daylight between them. Hows that for an offsidetrap pun.

Big fan of the “In Soviet Russia…” comment, keep them coming.

Lastly, I think you all have screwed up on the creator/destroyer combination idea entirely. You have no idea how Essien and Xavi would play together so how can you choose them? Is clear cut evidence of players being able to play with one another and their personalities i.e. a meeting of the minds not essential or are we just going to continue with the usual wet dream scenarios in an effort to vindicate our footballing beliefs? So the real question now has to be:

Yaya Toure – Xavi
Gattuso – Pirlo
Essien – Lampard
(Insert your suggestion here)

Lets talk about people that have played together and are proved two man teams. The whole point of evaluating the greatest holding midfielder was that it was just one guy, so you didn’t really have to worry about synergy. You build a team around him like El.Kaptain pointed out.

Also I was just wondering…..are we allowed to talk Boxing on here, because I’ve been dying to point out that my overwhelming favorite Manny Pacman Picaquao rocked Ricky Hattons world with a left hook from another planet in the second round. I said TKO in 5 but Manny obviously, had other plans. If your out there listening Manny, after you retire I suggest you take on corruption in the Phillipines after you’ve proven to Floyd Jr. that he avoided tough fights his entire career and is a bust. It took Mayweather 10 rounds to kill off an opponent that Pacman devoured in 2. This is after Hatton was turned into a “complete fighter” by Mayweathers dad who taught him all of his sons trademark tricks? Corruption might be a more challenging opponent than the trash you’ve had to face in the ring. I’m waiting for Haye – Klitshchko. My prediction is TKO in the 4th by Vladamir. It’s going to end early, Haye is too cocky already.